Choose Love, Choose logic is one of the taglines for the Love and Logic Parenting Approach to discipline. I have been using this approach for years with my children and now have the opportunity to use it with my grandchildren. One of my granddaughters gave me just such opportunity during one of her recent visits. We were traveling from a hike to a beautiful waterfall where she was able to play and have a good time. However, she was extremely tired and it had been a long day for a seven year old little girl.
While driving back to the place we were staying, she began to scream from the back seat. Her mother and I both asked her to stop and she continued. When I asked her to stop again, she got even louder. I told her that if she didn’t stop screaming we would pull over. She continued! I asked her Papa to find a place to pull over. After only a minute, we pulled the van over and I calmly told her to get out of the car and stand by the tree. The stunned look on her face as she got out of the car was priceless.
We rolled up the windows and sat ignoring her in the van (of course watching her out of the corner of our eyes). She stood there looking at us. Every three minutes, I would roll the window down and ask her if she was ready to get in the van without yelling to which she would say no (she is a little stubborn). I told her to knock on my window when she was ready. After about 8 minutes a car pulled in behind us and she came running and knocked on my window to tell me (which we already knew of course). I opened my door and put my arms gently on her shoulders and asked her once again if she was ready to get into the van without yelling. She said “yes, yes”. I put her in my lap and hugged her great big and we all bragged on her for making a good choice as she returned to her car seat.
She never yelled again and I bet if she does and we ask her to stop, she will! I was able to maintain our close relationship without losing her respect for my authority. I chose Love and Logic and you can too!